Well...hm
There were some parts I really liked and some parts I didn't care for.
I think you should have used the other Jegon melody as more people would understand where it came from (FF:CC). This melody sounds really off, not to mention the awkward gaps in between them when it plays over again. You should have filled that gap with maybe a bubble or a different sound effect. And as for that bubble, I felt it was really loud and violating. It could have started loud, but then maybe fade away into the melody again. That would give it an extra interesting bit, no? Near the ending were these weird bells. The bells themselves sounded really nice but the notes they were playing sounded all over the place and didn't fit in at all. It almost sounded out of key. And then you added more and more until the melody was almost drowned out.
As for the stuff I liked, I feel this is an extremely creative song. I really like the whines in the beginning going into the rain. Speaking of the rain, I feel that added a lot to this piece. If you were to take it out it would almost seem empty. I think it also added an eery almost sad mood. Which I liked. However, to continue with that sad mood you should, as I previously stated, you should have used the other melody. This one sounded too uplifiting. Maybe that's what you wanted? I'm not sure. It would have just added to the overall experience.
Some flaws, but the creativity really makes up for it
3/5